Just a quick note, in regards to the abortion debate, gay rights, AND the religious wars on Daily Kos.
Where we get into meta wars on Daily Kos, this often has to do with the brushing aside of this one basic idea.
Many of the basic civil rights we enjoy today are founded on one simple idea: People have the right, largely, to conduct their lives the way they see fit to the extent they're not committing crimes. And that is the foundation of civility in our society.
You may or may not like abortion, but, frankly, it's none of your business whether a woman chooses to have one or not. Her motivations in doing so, unless you are personally in her life, are none of your affair. It is not civil for you to opine on it in the first place especially to said woman. So don't be disingenuous and tell a woman she should be forced to carry her baby to term, and then call for "civil discourse" on the matter. Because if you said something to the effect that she should be forced to serve as a life support system against her will, you were not being civil in the first place.
The gender of the person with whom I wish to share my life is none of your business either. If I am a married person, or choose to marry an adult of sound mind of consenting age, it really is not your affair. If you then opine that gays should have civil unions and should not be allowed to get married because "marriage is between a man and a woman", that is a fundamentally uncivil point. If you are one of these people, where do you get off making such a statement? Who the hell are you? So, don't be making such statements and then calling for a "civil, respectful discussion". Because you were just very uncivil and disrespectful, if you made such a point to begin with.
On religion: Your religion stops where my nose (or anyone else's nose) begins. It is uncivil to decry people who make a considered philosophical choice of which religion if any they wish to belong to. It is just as uncivil to argue for any particular public policy (especially in regards to limiting the freedom of choice of other people) out of your religion. Separation of church and state, at least as regards a liberal blog, ought to be just that. You can believe anything you want, but it is not civil to be calling people down for their private philosophical choices to the extent if affects them and only them.
Meta wars get started on Daily Kos at least as much out of this as anything else. It is a basic tenet of respect to allow people to conduct their own private affairs, or at least recognize where and when you are intruding into same -- while recognizing the difference between what is private and what is public and affects the common good.
In fact, I would go so far as to say this is what the difference, by and large, between Democrats and Republicans. When we advocate for public policies, a certain sensitivity to letting people run their own lives as regards their basic civil rights is in order.